idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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