i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
