The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
