so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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