I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize