i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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