okay pat passed out under dana's car
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
