she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
