dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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