If i come over, it means nothing
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
