I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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