you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
