im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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