Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize