he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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