Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
