either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
