He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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