I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
