answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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