i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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