Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
