All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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