Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I enjoy the company of your penis
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
