You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
