I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
