There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
