my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
