i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
