I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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