I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
