I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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