**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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