we're chasing vodka with high fives
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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