Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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