my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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