is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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