Got a toothbrush?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
