Sry I called you an 8
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize