we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
