so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
