I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
