Screwed.edu
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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