I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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