Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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