How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
