i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
