How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
