he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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