How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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