No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
