I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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