I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
