im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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