forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize