.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
