Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
