Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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