Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
