so that wasnt chicken after all
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
