Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
