smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize